De Villers

I'm gonna get baptised!!!

2008-04-16T18:10:24Z

K first of all, I should have posted this yesterday.

Anyway, I'm gonna get baptised!! Wow... I can't believe it myself! Actually I decided to get myself baptised on 9/Oct/07 after listening to my Dad's sermon. But I didnt wanna get baptised right away cause I didnt like the baptism tanks in any of our churchs! lol. I wanted it to be very special you know. So I thought I'd wait till I can find a good enough tank or may be even build an awesome church and get baptised there! lol.

But the day before yesterday something happened to my Dad. (I dont have the patience to type all of what happened to him.) So we were talking about it last night. Dad n Mom suggested to me for the first time ever to get myself baptised. After thinking a while I decided I'll do it!

In our denomination (SDA) it is usual for everyone to get baptised when they are around 15. So I'm getting it done pretty late. But anyway, 18 seems like a better age.

Since the tank in our church is pathetic, I've planned to have my baptism in a bigger church in our city. That's the main church for our denomination here. But I dont want all of the members of that church to be present during the ceremony. I'll feel uncomfortable if I'm surrounded by strangers. I want only my church members to be there. I havent yet figured out what could be done about that. I also havent decided when it'll take place. I think I'll get baptised with in another 40 days or so! Man, I'm excited!

Urban Dead. A Zombie just attacked me!

2008-04-14T14:45:52Z

I just logged into Urban Dead after such a long time. To my horror, the place where I was residing with another 200 or more people had been run over the a pack of Zombies! Everyone had fled the place. I wasn't attacked cause my player had gone into sleep mode cause it's been more than 5 days since I logged in.

I had to run away and find another safe building. I noticed a lone Zombie standing outside the building I was in. So I went out to kill it. I started attacking it but all of a sudden, another Zombie showed up and clawed me! That was my first experience of a Zombie attack. Damn, I freaked out and run back into the building! The building is fenced well enough. So I'm safe for the moment I think. Phew!

Looks sadistic! Eish!

2008-04-09T06:06:30Z

I was fixing our TV remote using a duck tape. I cut the tape with a blade. And unfortunately, the other side of the blade cut my middle finger of the right hand. Now, dont worry!!! It wasn't that bad. It didnt even bleed right after it was cut. The cut was so small I guess. But eventually a teeny weeny (or teenie weenie.. I dont know how it is spelt) drop of blood was visible in my finger. It quickly clotted. And the stinging feeling quickly disappeared.

I thought, "Now I've lost a drop of blood. It shouldn't go down as waste. I should do something to make this a positive experience." So I picked up my digi cam n went to the balcony to take close up pics of my finger. I thought it would turn out to be a fine art cause close up picks generally look artistic.

I uploaded em in the computer. Almost all of the photos turned out well. The photos were artistic but also... sadistic! Ugh! I realized that cause looking at the cut in my finger turned my stomach. There was an increasing feeling of vomiting sensation in my belly. Not good. I tried changing the colour n verything in photoshop to make the photo look.. umm.. unsadistic (is that a word??). But no use. The changes I made just made it look even more sadistic! Ugh! So I deleted all the pics in the end. lol

There was a positive in all this, though. I learnt how to take a good close up pic today because of all this! Not bad, eh? :p

Nocturnal study thingy is working!

2008-04-01T14:15:52Z

I stayed up all night yesterday n studied. I did pretty well actually. I'm happy. I gotta repeat that today too. First I thought I'll go to bed at 4 a.m. But I ended up going to sleep only after having breakfast at 8 a.m. Then I slept till 3 in the evening. I'm not exactly sure if I'll be able to carry on studying like this in the night times. But I hope I'll be able to do that. I'm pretty confident about it too. :)

Lightning and Centipede!

2008-03-30T17:39:14Z

Tonight was very eventful! We just got home from Ezra na's house after celebrating Evangeline's Birthday. It had started to rain and thunder like hell outside. Darlie was kinda scared cause he has a fear of thunder. lol. Anyway, we all were just standing in the hall n talking and all of a sudden BOOM! A lightning had struck something somewhere in our neighborhood! What a sound!! I actually felt a slight pain in the backside of my head for a few secs. I was too freaked out, I guess. Along with the sound of the thunder we also heard some sound like glasses breaking. Dont know what that was. I still dont know what was hit. But I bet something was hit. Within 10 mins there was a power cut here.

Since there was nothing to do without power, Darlie, Doni, and I just laid on the carpet in the hall. After some 10 mins Doni said, "Centipede!" A stupid centipede was crawling passed us into the bedroom. Mom brought the emergency lamp n her slipper to kill it. But before she could come it escaped into the bedroom. It's a decent sized one. About 4 inches I think. And now it is still in there. There are a lot of stuff under the bed so there's no way of finding it. I dont know how long it indends to live there. I hope it decides to go out soon. Or at least not bite me when I go to sleep!

What a bath!

2008-03-30T05:38:49Z

We went to Daniel na's house to play badminton. There were only 6 of us today though. It wasn't as fun as it usually is but it was okay. After playing we all took a bath in the garden. We bathed from the water that was pumped on us from the borewell. I hadn't taken an extra pair of clothes there. So I just bathed with my track pant on. Wow, what a feeling!! That was the third time I bathed that way in there. But I feel awesome every single time! The water is warm and it hits you with a lot of force. It literally feels like you are being massaged! And there's a nice breeze at times. And I get to thrust my feet in the mud under my feed! I kinda like it actually. lol. All that reminded me of my childhood. I bathed like this quite a lot when I was young. sigh.. I wish I can go 10 years back now... Wow, what an awesome childhood I was lucky enough to have had! Thank you, God!

No 400 for Sehwag

2008-03-29T16:45:53Z

Sehwag got out on 319. Cha

Nocturnal me?

2008-03-28T13:21:48Z

Since I cant really concentrate in the mornings I tried studying in the night time yesterday. I studied from 10:50 P.M to 1:30 A.M and I studied pretty well actually! But I dont know if I can concentrate that well if I study for 5 or 6 hours during the night. And I dont know if I can concentrate well if I study during nights for more than 2 nights even if I study just 3 hours a night. I tend to slow down considerably after a couple of days.

Too bad I cant find out the answer by studying tonight cause today is Friday and Sabbath starts for us tonight. But I think I can try studying tomorrow night. Yea, that should be good.

mmm.. I havent yet read the Bible today. Gotta do that. But I read the Bible yesterday. Hmm.. I did nothing useful today. It could have been better.

Sehwag is on fire!!!

2008-03-28T13:06:03Z

Sehwag became only became the second batter in the entire cricket history to score 300 twice!! He has single handedly injected life into this match. What a guy! Go Sehwag!! I hope he becomes only the second batter ever to score 400 tomorrow. Or may be even get to 500!! Wow how awesome would that be. Can't believe I cant watch this match. What the heck, it's still fun!

Online TV works!!

2008-03-27T10:50:08Z

I just tried to watch the SA-Ind match online now . And it worked!!!!!!!!! Wooooo Hoooooooo!!!! lol. Wow, this is just fantastic! And to make things sweeter our openning batters are batting so well so far! We need to bad atleast for a couple of days, I reckon. Hmm.. Let's see. I'm on cloud nine right now!!

I'm not gonna watch the match now, though. I'm going to study now. Studies come first.

Finally a wicket!

2008-03-27T07:48:00Z

Finally!! Amla is out.. for 156!! He's run out. SA are only 6 down now and they've already amassed 456 runs. We are only half way through the second day of the match! Damn! The SA batters are beating the hell out of us! Aren't we supposed to be hot favourites to win this match and this series???? lol. I hope our batters can do the same to them. Hmm.. let's see.

I gotta keep my word

2008-03-26T15:55:25Z

Hmm.. I was just thinkin why nothing was going right to me lately.. Probably one reason is that I havent kept my word. A couple of months back I told God that I'd do my part (which is reading the Bible everyday for at least 30 mins and studying hard) and he should do his part (which is making all the situation favourable for my study). Within an hour after I prayed everything I wanted to happen to make me study better happened! I mean I've been trying to get things this way for years!! But I was never successful! But within an hour my prayer everything was favourable to my studies!

I guess God gives a lil bit of trouble now and then to make sure we dont drift far away from him.

And now I'm in a muddle cause I didnt give my 100% when studying. And most importantly I stopped praying n reading the Bible regularly after a couple of weeks. Hmm.. I should start keeping my word on that. I dont really think the situation is gonna get any better even after I start praying and reading. Cause.. I dont know why. It just doesn't feel that way. But I'll pray nevertheless.

Feeling sick again...

2008-03-26T12:15:42Z

I just cant study. I cant study continuously even for an hour. I’m feeling down right now. I should be feeling really really down now but I’m not. It’s because….. I’ve gotten used to thi s feeling now. I’ve been getting depressed pretty frequently nowadays anyway… Sometimes I wonder what had happened to my enthusiastic optimistic self. It’s like I have split personality.

There’s the cheerful, optimistic Sylvester eagerly awaiting the future to conquer everything. Then all of a suddent he goes missing. Then the pessimistic, frusterated, angry Sylvester shows up his ugly head and dreads the duanting, hopeless future.

It’s proving pretty hard to kill the pessimistic Sylvester. God, please help me… Pep talk, sermons, good advice n great support from caring ones aren’t seem to be working. God, you are doing your bit but I don’t feel like I’m doing what I should be doing. I try… and fail. I fail repeatedly. That’s a big blow. I’m just giving up too easily. I don’t have anyone else to blame, I guess.

But still I don’t know why Dad isn’t taking any real steps to pull me out of this muddle. He knows pretty much how I’m feeling. He also knows that I’m somewhat disappointed and angry with him. Shouldn’t he be doing something to fix all these? He feels I should be able to study without external pressure and should compete with myself. That’s the way to be successful he says. I agree with him. But when I fail to do that, shouldn’t he go for plan B? Cause plan A isn’t working.

I should never have been homeschooled. I should have been sent to school. I just do not know the things other teens know. I feel dumb. I’ve never felt equal to guys around my age from childhood. In fact, I’ve always felt inferior. In those days I told myself that things would have changed by the time I’m 18 and there’s nothing to worry. Now I’m 18. And things haven’t changed. Dad should understand that I’m not a 55 year old to not care about all those irrelevant (for him) things. For crying out loud, I’m just 18!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sigh…..

emerlander @ 2008-03-25T10:51:00

2008-03-25T05:27:27Z

I was talking to Dad just a while back. He said we'll have a family (which also includes relatives) meeting tonight and figure out who all are going to move to Hosur with us. It seems like we'll be moving there in May after my cousin Doni gets his degree in college. And Dad, Darlie (my bro) and I are going to Hosur coming Monday to find a suitable house for us! Oh yea! I'm excited!! It should be a fun experience. Anyway, I can keep on talking about this for a long time but I gotta study now.

Take care all. God bless!

No SA-India series for me..........

2008-03-24T18:09:59Z

I just read in the news that I'll not be able to watch the Ind-SA series on TV. A TV channel got the broadcasting rights for all the matches played in India for a period of four years last year. But the thing is that it is not a popular channel. I dont know how they got the deal. The channel is viewed mainly in North India, I think. We dont get the channel throughout our state. Not even in Chennai!!! With the supreme court's order, all the matches were co-broadcasted by a Govt run channel for all the series till now. But they cant do that this time around. So.. yea......................... sigh....,....I wont be able to watch this series along with some 120 billion other Indian viewers. No fair. It's not like we dont give money for cable TV. We give the cable operators all the money they want and still we cant watch the matches. Hmmm...I wanted to watch this series soooo much. I actually felt dizzy for a few secs when I read the news. I'm just trying to remain calm. I cant do anything to watch the match anyway. Virtually nothing. I'm just gonna go to bed now and try to get some sleep now. Shit.

I feel better now..

2008-03-16T13:04:31Z

It just rained here. The weather is still gloomy. I feel so calming when the weather is gloomy or when it rains. And I’m watching Animal Planet. So both of that combined is making me feel less bitter now. I’m almost back to normal. sigh..

Future girlfriend

2008-03-16T13:03:01Z

Hmm.. I’ve always thought I wouldn’t have to worry about my future girlfriend’s physical beauty. Cause if I really love her, then I wouldn’t mind however she looks. If fact, she’d most probably seem beautiful to me. And I wont get into a relationship with her if I don’t really love her. So I thought that shouldn’t be a worry. But now… I don’t know what I’m gonna do if I fall in love with a girl who isn’t pretty. Of course, no one would oppose my relationship in anyway even if she isn’t beautiful. But after all of what has happened yesterday n today… I know most of my family members wont be too pleased if I don’t find pretty girl. Of course, they’d never tell me that. But I’ll know.

I don’t care what others think. But these comments about my friend is hurting enough. I can’t imagine how hurting it’ll be if they are directed at my girlfriend. Also, my brother’s girlfriend is very beautiful. So unconciously my family members will definitely compare my girlfriend with her. Hmm.. it wouldn’t be such a bad thing if I end up with a beautiful girl.

God, you know what’s the best for me and whoever I end up with. I pray to you that everything should work out well.

Is physical beauty so important???

2008-03-16T12:46:14Z

I don’t understand why people make such a fuss about people’s looks.. A person’s looks is important. I agree with that. But no one can gauge a person’s value only by their looks.

Yesterday morning I felt so excited cause I was gonna meet my friend. But I didn’t expect some of the things that happened.

Last morning my brother jokingly mentioned to me that she didn’t look pretty. Of course, my friend was nowhere near us when he said that. But it kinda hurt me. I said, “Stop it. Don’t say anything like that.” He said he was just joking n didn’t mean anything seriously. But I told him to stop. So he did.

Then at church my brother-in-law laughingly asked, “Is she the girl you talk to so often???” He implied that he was surprised that I talk to her so often when she wasn’t pretty. I was SO furious! But I didn’t make it apparent. I just nodded n said, “Mmm.” He asked the same question again. I nodded again n said, “Mmm.” My brother was also there. By then he’d figured out that I wasn’t too happy with the question. So he said something n changed the topic.

I was talking to Dad some 15 mins back. I asked him if Mom might mistake my friendship for her as love. I haven’t told anyone in my family, except my dad, that Ann had a boyfriend. (She had asked me not to tell it to anyone.) So there was a chance of my Mom coming to a wrong conclusion. It seems she did. My Dad said, “Your Mom lamented to me that Ann was overwight n had a black skin complexion… Obviously she thought you both were in love. So I told her that you both were just friends and that Ann had a boyfriend.”

I was somewhat annoyed that Dad told Mom about Ann’s love relationship. But other than that I felt soooo sad, angry, dissapointed and just.. I don’t know. It was mixture of bad feelings. I feel sad cause everyone points out that my best friend isn’t pretty…

I’m not angry with any of them cause people make stupid comments n mistakes now and then. I’ve made, and continue to make, other kinds of mistakes in life. And I know I cant expect anyone to be perfect. But it’s just that people point out that Ann is not pretty. And it hurts. It really hurts.

Meeting Ann

2008-03-15T09:51:53Z

Ah, we've managed to exchange the chocolates! lol.

Too bad, we couldnt have any real conversation. We talked for only a few mins. We met only after the church was over. She was hanging around with people she knew and I was with my bro, cousin, n relatives. She hardly looked at me. She had said she'd feel pretty shy when we meet. (That's weird considering she's such a chatter box!) So I didn't go n talk to her. Then we finished eating. Still she was with her parents. Finally my brother said it was time to go home. I was like, "Ah damn it! I still haven't talked to her!" But I didn't tell anything to him.

So I went up to her and said I was gonna go home. So she came with me near our car and I gave her the chocolates. Then we talked for like 2 mins. We both said bye. And I came home. The end.

Hmm.. things could have been better. But what the heck. It was still cool.

Ann is coming!

2008-03-14T18:11:26Z

Several days ago I heard that Pastor Willmott would be preaching in the main church tomorrow. I just imagined that Ann would come there too. But I never expected that that would actuallly happen in real life! She told me only this evening that she'd be coming. It's great!

After around 2 and a half years of friendship, I'm at last going to meet my best friend in real life! Awesome eh?? I've met her a couple of times before we became friends. We didnt talk anything back then. Now she is coming to our city's main church tomorrow. And my family and I are going there too. It's gonna be exciting!

Both of us are really not sure what's gonna happen tomorrow, though. We wont be able to talk freely with all the other church members around. People in that church are particularly nosey and may start rumours that we are more than friends! Now that's just SICK!!! But they may well do that! And more importantly, both of us have bought chocolates to present each other. We're not yet sure how we'd be able to do that. Cause if everyone sees us giving each other gifts, then someone will definately start rumours! Not doubt in that. The fact that my Dad is well known to lots of Adventists in our state will only make it easier for the rumours to spread! Why can't people just mind their business????

I'd also love to take a pic of both of us together. But evening talking n giving gifts is a big problem; let alone taking photos! Hmm.. let's see how things go tomorrow.

God, please help me out with this problem too! Thanks!

Youth For Christ

2008-03-12T15:00:58Z

I should have typed n posted this one last Sunday too.

Anyway, my visit to YFC was pretty cool. It was hardly like the way I expected it to be, though.

The YFC building was a run-down one. I mean totally ruined! I was like, "Whoa! Am I really going in there??" My bro had come there to drop me off. He said, " Are you really going in there??" I'd come this far, so I thought I'd go n check it out. The 3 guys who were standing in the entrance of the building seemed like rouges to me at first! So I asked my bro to come with me. Thankfully it became clear that those guys were just like me. They all were from middle-class family. And very decent. Phew! There were about 9 guys n 1 girl in all. T

The place was run down only cause the head of the YFC, Paul Stephen, here didn't have enough money. I was kinda sad to see him suffering so much to do God's work. But he was very cheerful. He was around 30 so he came to our level when talking. All of them talked a laughed for a while. My bro n I were pretty quiet cause we were new there.

After sometime everyone started singing. I must say, they are so good at singing. One guy played guitar. He played it very well. A couple of others also play guitar I think. It was pretty nice to sing all those songs. Then Paul told me n my bro for a while about what the YFC did. Then he gave us all a sermon. Admittedly, the sermon wasn't the best one I've ever heard. There was nothing special about it. But I liked the social togetherness there. I think I'll go there now and then in the future.

Mm.. it should be a good new experience.

Youth For Christ

2008-03-12T14:25:14Z

Hmm.. I typed out this post last Sunday. And I'm gonna post it only now! Anyway, it's better than never posting it.

Okay, FINALLY I'm writing something on my journal!! Woo Hoo! lol

Anyway, I'm going to attend a meeting of Youth For Christ in one hour!! OGM, I'm excited n anxious! You know I feel like a fish out of water (Sorry for using a cliche!) in social gatherings. But the last few years I've been feeling like a lonely bird in a bird-cage (That might be another cliche! Shoot!). So it'll be awesome to go there and meet guys around my age. I got an invitation to go there some months back, but I pulled out of it in the last moment cause I was too nevours! Later I kicked myself for not going!

I've back slided quite a bit in the last couple of years. So I need to set things straight. And everything seems a lot easier when someone has good friends. Good Christian friends will be even better cause they'll also be able to help me with the spiritual stuff.

Hmm.. I really do wanna make friends when I'm there. Believe me, I totally suck when it comes to befriending people! I'm so awkward! My only worry now is that what my Dad n bro would think if I just go there n come home without making any friends. You know, both of them are very good at it. So it'll seem pretty weird for them if I return without getting someone's contact number. But thankfully they wont be harsh about it in anyway. So I'm gonna just ignore everything and go to the meeting and have fun.

God will be with me like he was with Moses! I'm sure about that. So I know everything will happen only according to God's will. So whatever happens, it's for the good. Ah, I feel pretty calm now!

Thank you Lord!

Anyway, time to get ready. Take care all. C ya!